Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Off Season, Part Un: fat pants, small pigs and blowtorches

The race season is over, so onto the offseason plan:
1.a. get fat 
1.b.stabilize weight gain 
1.c.succumb to team peer pressure 
1.d.lose weight again. 
I've already started step 1.a, getting fat, mainly through a complicated and meticulous process I call "eating too much."  I gained about 6 or 7 lbs to top out at about 192 lbs before I moved on to step 1.b of stabilization.  Not too bad a weight gain - I didn't even need to break out my fat pants! 

Sidebar: I once weighed 218 lbs!  Here's the proof of my hugeness:

This was supposed to be all the kids in the fam
but the camera frame could only fit me and Dee's left arm

Brother Con called me the "218 train" and I was virtually unmoveable on the hoops court - I couldn't even move myself.  Good thing my vertical jump was about 2" as I would surely have Daryl Dawkinsed any backboard

So I'm now onto step 1.c - succumbing to team peer pressure - via Tim asking me about the Thrive diet while slipping in that he's down to 181 lbs.  CRAP!  Tim's a former bodybuilder who used to eat small pigs whole at every meal.  So his being on the plant-based, raw diet that I have strayed from lit a blowtorch under my butt.  Not to mention the fact that he beat me by like 5 minutes at TVR. 
Gotta get back to eating better.  And less. 
Part Deux will be to review last season.  Part trois will be the plan for next year.  Part quatorze will be to teach U2 how to count.
Tks for reading.


  1. Aye, there is a natural cycle to it all. Gettin fair amount fat muhself... But oh just wait till spring. This year, this year, hell yeah, this year will be the year!

  2. Yes, hope springs eternal. Though for you, well you kinda had a good year (!), so it'll fun to see what you consider being 'the year.'